Chivalry Died in Starbucks
I imagine if I was one who was brave enough to get a card reading, or if I believed in such a thing, that the gypsy woman would have laughed me out of her tent if I inquired about the not so gentlemanly sir I haphazardly met a few weeks ago. To say we didn’t have a love connection is an understatement. We did not even have a human connection. I should have been forewarned when an hour after meeting, he was texting me nonstop. I chalked it up to my beauty, but in actuality I should have known better.
Hint one that I failed to recognize at the moment I met this man, I looked a mess. I had just taken down some cornrows, so my hair looked as if I stuck my finger in a socket and got the most from my connection with ComEd. I was also dressed like a biggest loser reject, sporting capri length yoga pants that for some odd reason have the widest waistband I have ever seen, and a tie-dye wife beater. Please believe I can’t make this up if I tried. I had planned on working out, but in reality I ended up lounging in that horrible outfit all day. I should have known better. But nooooo, I’m beautiful inside and out and I assumed the fool of a man peeked into that. Wrong, he probably thought I was prey.
Hint two that I should of known dude was up to know good, he didn’t initially tap into the opportunity that my presence provided. To quote Kanye West, my presence is a present, and if he was checking for me with honorable intentions he wouldn’t have needed a second opportunity. After our initial meeting, he went into his restaurant, not bothering to inquire about who I was or how to contact me. It just so happened my mother loves banana shakes and I had to get her one from the stand nearby, so we crossed paths on my way back to my car. I just feel that if a guy is into you, he isn’t going to take the risk of you passing him by, which this guy was clearly comfortable in taking.
So, I forego two very obvious warnings and take a chance to see who this guy is and what he’s about. Ultimate waste of time. For one, he was not a conversation starter, he was a texter, and there is only so much I can text before I lose interest. I noticed his texts were just busy, stating and asking questions that had little relevance to who I was or what my path in life was like. Duh, he wasn’t on anything.
So to sum up this horrific encounter, one morning I’m in Macy’s buying brow liner, because a girl cannot live without a good brow liner and he calls inquiring about my whereabouts and plans for the day. We decide to meet for coffee as its early, I’m shopping, and he lives nearby. Once he arrives, we walk to Starbucks, and I notice the conversation was way better in text, who’d have thought that? So once we arrive in Starbucks he goes and stands in a corner. Eyebrow raises. So as the woman asks what I’ll have I give my order, keeping it simple and light because I have a bikini to wear next summer. I glance over my shoulder and this fool is in the farthest corner of the coffee shop. I pull out my phone, pay for my purchase with my Starbucks account, because any coffee addict is prepared for moments like these, and a lady must always be prepared.
So as I sit and sip my coffee, he slowly teeters back over my way. Me being the woman I am, I just cannot let this moment pass without attempting to gain further clarity, “did you stand in that corner because you didn’t want to pay for my coffee? You could have just stated that on the walk over and it would have been less awkward.” That was pretty much the end, nothing else was memorable and it was a total waste. I did feel a certain type of way. No I don’t need a man to pay for my coffee, but if you are so pressed to see me I feel a certain way that you didn’t at least offer. The ultimate funny part is I had two free reward drinks. LOSER has not called me since. Oh well, another one bites the dust. Shoulder shrug.
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